The first holiday is under my belt!

Well I made it through Thanksgiving, for that I am thankful. The holiday gathering itself was awful! Family troubles and strife that were ridiculous. I had a little turkey, mashed spuds, and gravy. Everything else had sugar or lots of fat. I had no dessert because I forgot to make myself some. Oh well.

Jeff and I escaped for a long weekend. First we canceled due to poor economy, family troubles and strife, and Jeff just getting over being sick. Then Thursday we said to heck with it and hopped in the car and went up north. I am finding eating is somewhat difficult at this stage just because of what is in some foods. I can't do any sugars (except for natural sugar which is in foods), I can't do deep fried, no white bread, and very small portions. Eating breakfast at our hotel was wonderful. The staff gave me my 1 piece of toast and cream cheese, scrambled egg with cheese. I drank milk later in the day to get my protein in. Lunch was not even too bad. We ate at Potbelly's, my favorite place. They have great hot subs and they make a skinny version so I was able to have a tuna sub with cheese in a skinny. I ate a little of the whole wheat bread and then used a fork to scoop up the remainder of the goodies. Unfortunately supper did not fair as well. My fault I did not think about what I ordered. Teriakyi chicken breast. Teriakyi sauce has sugar. Cindy was sick!!!! We were shopping in Macy's and I could feel that I was going to lose it. Luckily our hotel was right there and we could run up to the room quickly and sick was I. I dumped. Boy that is horrible. Luckily for me though I felt okay after dumping. We were able to go to the parade and enjoy the rest of the evening. I have learned the hard way, carefully choose your meal! Carefully!

Anyway I am down to 285. WOW. Like I mean I have lost a lot of me. I have not been below 300 in years and then to be this far below already. I am feeling stronger. Loving walking much longer. (Yup I walked like a banshee all weekend!)

Life is good. Dain gave me a big hug and told me how proud he was of me. Means a lot to this mom especially from a child you think never notices anything at all in life but himself.

Turkey day is just around the corner.

I am feeling a little blue about things I cannot eat for the holiday, stuffing, pumpkin pie, cranberries, and mom's sweet potatoes. I will miss my glass of wine.

I know I will feel better this year than I have in years past. I will not be stuffed and miserable. I will be comfortable and be able to enjoy myself. I will be wide awake while others are sleepy.

I am running out of clothes. Isn't that just bizzare! I got on the scale this morning and it read 290. I am the shrinking woman. I fit in booths. I fit comfortably in the chair at the salon to get my hair colored. I do get hungry for foods. I tried tacos. Yum, as long as the shell was fried crispy I could eat it, but I think today I will just do the meat, cheese, tomatoe, and sour cream.

Aquasizing is great fun. I am so impressed at the encouragement I recieve from the girls in the class. All except the instructor are old enough to be my mother.

Anyhow things are going good. I have to remember to eat slowly, don't drink with meals, chew my food very well, and don't let myself get too hungry. I also have to exercise and work at staying fit and getting fit.

This year I am thankful for my supportive friends, family, and a healthier me. Kayaking is just a few months away......

Ouch!

I am faithfully exercising an hour every day in the pool doing water aerobics and I hurt in ways I never realized would hurt. I am so out of shape physically. Hopefully with each passing day this will get better. I am the next to youngest in the class. The instructer is a year younger than me. We were in high school at the same time. She has always been an interesting person, walking to the beat of a different drummer. Very "earthy". She and her husband live on an acreage south of town. He does the most amazing stain glass. She has worked at Opportunity Village for 20 years and from what I see the people love her. She is so upbeat and positive. When I came the first day she spent the session working with me to get me in tune to the exercises.

I love the water so this is a great exercise for me. The price is also amazingly right. For $70 a year you can swim anytime you want. You can go to all of the exercise classes that you want. Right now they have them twice a week at night and 5 times a week during the day with open swimming on the weekends. An excellent deal!

Well I am in the 200's now for weight. This is an amazing change in my life. I am excited to feel good again and be out in the world, not hiding.

Feeling a little more normal.

Funny how one would not think of something like asparagas as being wonderful, but tonight for dinner we had asparagus, my protein salad and grilled ribeye. Jeff and I share a meat now. He sliced off a couple of wonderful pieces for me to enjoy. Beef is a toughie because of it being so fiborous, but I cut pencil-eraser size pieces and enjoyed it thoroughly. The asparagus was my favorite though, absolutely wonderful. Also a new find, laughing cow cheese french onion, yummy.

I am actually getting anxious to start exercising. I feel better than I have in years. I will be anxious to see what my weight is when I go back on November 6. I expect I will also be going back to work around the 10th. I have a size 18 swimsuit that was given to me by a friend. Who would have ever thought I would be in a size 18 again, certainly not me. But my friend (she had the surgery in February) said I would be there before you know it. So I am looking forward to being there.

My grandson can't figure out why I don't eat anymore than I do. It is hard to explain to him that mema's tummy just does not hold a lot of food any more.

Well tomorrow is a stamping day with friends. I am looking forward to that in the morning. I miss my daily visits with my friend in Minneapolis. We used to IM a lot, but she is very busy being mom, wife, sister, and employer. I know she is great at all of them.

A new pink robe.

Today I bought a new robe, a pink, so very soft robe in a size I thought I would be able to get into by December. Well I have it on right now. It is not as loose as I would like it but I am in it. I know, no shopping, but my robe that I had is a sad, sad shape story. My mom bought me this pretty baby blue terry robe and nightgown 5 years ago. I have worn it forever. I have been wanting a new warmer robe and finally today I found one in a regular department store, not a fat girl store. I also can wear the jammies that Jeff bought me for my birthday. Bless his heart he thought I was smaller than I was, but I am that size now.

Still struggling some with food, but ate 2 tablespoons of the inside of a stuffed green pepper, yummy. I also can eat ham salad. They were a treat. Clam chowder tasted yuky. Tomato soup is still my favorite.

I am thinking about getting a personal trainer just to get me in a habit of exercising regularly after I am released from the doctor. I need to get physical and in a routine. I think if I have to pay for it, I definitely will do this.

I have Nails, yup fingernails. They are pretty! The only time in my life where I had nails before was when I had the artificial ones, but these are mine, all mine.

I am not as down in the dumps as I was. I think each month it will get better.

Hell Week

I had read about it before my surgery and was so happy I was not experiencing it, but then crash, bang, and down for the count I went. Pretty blue. Missing eating, not hungry, wanting to go out with friends to socialize, but not up to par. I even tried stamp club, came home exhausted.

Now the diet is slowly progressing, but I am learning eating is not an easy task. I had 2 teaspoons of cottage cheese yesterday for dinner and 30 minutes later drank my protein shake of the day. Hot, cold, feverish, shaky. The pouch decided that was too much protein within a very short time period. Luckily I remembered the lying down tool. Off to bed I went for 3 hours of resting, sleep, and then getting up weak. Almost felt like a very short, short version of the flu. So today it is back to liquidy stuff and a very quiet day.

Staying hydrated is getting to be difficult too. My BIL brought bottled water for me, lots of it, but it still tastes like water. Oh well, I hate IVs so I keep drinking.

I think the food thing is getting to Jeff also. I try to save something to eat with him for each meal. Breakfast is easy. I can eat scrambled egg, yogurt, or cream of wheat cooked cereal, and he is always willing to share this with me. Lunch, well that is the start of the difference. He eats a sandwich and other things, I am not hungry so I eat so more yogurt. Supper is the worse because depending on the time frame, I may have to eat earlier than he does. I am learning to keep some Jello on hand and I can have a dish of Jello with him. I will be happy when I can start eating a little of his meal with him.

The weight is coming off. I have no idea how much, but it is cgoing. Even with the weather change the knee is not as bad as it had been before.

It will get better, just a little bit of hell right now.

The road to recovery

Jeff and I left for Grinnell Monday afternoon, checked into our hotel, drove around, and had supper at Godfather's Pizza. They had a wonderful salad bar which I was able to enjoy and Jeff could have the Pizza buffet. That night we talked about both our concerns and hopes. The next morning while Jeff was getting his breakfast I got myself prepped and ready for surgery. We were really early as I did not have to be to the hospital until 10:30 a.m. So we took a trip around Grinnell, Iowa. It is a beautiful little community reminensent of all of the old small towns we grew up with, sef sufficient.

After our ride we checked into the hospital and went up to the surgery waiting room. I was soon taken back to the back to get ready for surgery. Can you say high blood pressure???? I was much more nervous than I thought I would be. My blood pressure was 170/101..... Needless to say I got drugs really quick, also a massage to help relax me....yup they have massueses on the staff as they feel it is good for the whole patient. Everyone was wonderful. IV was in, Jeff came in for a kiss and an I love you. Off to surgery we went. I remember very little about the operating room, although they say I was awake for about 20 minutes getting ready for the surgery. Woke up in recovery.... wonderful nurse....I was able to have it laparoscopically. I was not sick at all, just sore, and very sleepy.

Once in my room, settled in, Jeff came in and we visited in spurts. I slept a lot. Dr. Coster came in and visited with both of us. My surgery went really well, except I had some adhesions he had to take care of first, but he was very pleased with the whole procedure. I have a very small pouch, 20 cc, really small. I was NPO for 5 hours and then ice chips until midnight when they took those away so that I could have a swallow study to make sure there were no leaks....

Unfortunately narcotics and I have a strange reaction together. I was wired for sound, up all night. Bless my nurse, Joyce, came and helped me walk, and sat me up in a comfy chair. She would come visit often to make sure I was doing okay.

The next morning the team was in to visit, all very pleased with my walking and alertness. Down to the swallow, now that was not fun..... I had to drink this foamy bitter, sweettart type drink thru a straw, then stand on a platform that moved. The more it moved the more I wanted to throw up, but I didn't because I did not want to drink anymore of that stuff. After that was done I came back to my room, Jeff was there after his breakfast to sit with me until I scooted him out the door to rescue Pablo from the Spa.

The swallow is done to make sure there are no leaks, although Dr. Coster blows up the pouch a lot to make sure that there are no leaks during surgery. Once the all clear came I was able to drink clear liquids. I got a sugar free popcicle, sugar free jello, coffee (yuk), vegetable broth (yuk). The popcicle was my choice.

My blood pressure was still running extremely high and my feet looked like something a hobbit would have (huge). They questioned both Jeff and I about my blood pressure. Jeff got pretty frustrated, but I know they just wanted to make sure that this was not the norm for me. After calling Dr. Coster's PA Jerrad, they were no longer worried. I still could not believe my feet.

I walked faithfully every 2 hours just because the bed was uncomfortable. Now having the surgery laparoscopically was great... but I now could not lie on either side as I had staples on both sides and a drain on the left side.

I have to say in all of the hospitals I have been in with my mom, MIL, myself, and Jeff; Grinnell Regional Medical Center was the best as far as clean, staff efficiency, caring, and team work. Even Jeff was impressed. The floor I was on was "gorgeous" as hospitals go. They had an aviary filled with the most pretty birds you could imagine. I would walk there and watch them 3 to 4 times a day, a quiet room with a water fountain and soft, soft music in the background, beautiful grounds to look down upon from my window with a lighted gazebo. It was too chilly otherwise they would have let me walk outside with help. I had a massage every day around 5:30.

They kept me until Friday because my blood count was not up to par, and a bypass patient has a harder time recouping those little blood cells. It was still low on check out, but improving. I will have another test when I go down on Thursday for my check up.

So I am home now, learning to eat slowly because I fill up very quickly, finding out I don't like coffee anymore. Baby food meats suck! Tomato soup tastes wonderful. I have to force myself to eat as I am not hungry although my head tells me I should be. I guess that is normal. Drinking water is a constant. Don't leave home without it so they say. I love hot tea. Popcicles still taste wonderful.

Oh yes, the feet look like normal feet now...I have spent a lot of time in the bathroom, a lot~~~~