One last hurdle before surgery

Today will be my final doctor visit with my local doctor for a preop heart and lung check. Yesterday Joyce and I went to Grinnell for my preanesthesia appointment, a little exercise consultation, and also meeting with Stef, the bariatric coordinator.

Again a very full day. The exercises with the theraband will be great for me to do, especially with the knee bothering me with the weather changes. I am so out of shape I could definitely feel the muscles working. Good deal! They need to work. Then we went on to the hospital for a preadmission appointment. The surgical nurse met with us to go over everything possible about my surgery including how I will be if I have the surgery laparoscopically or if I have it open. She also did my EKG, which was normal whew!, and my blood work. I was suppose to meet with an anesthesiologist but they were both tied up in surgery and I am not really worried about that aspect. I had a chest x-ray. Then we were off to see Ms. Stef.

Finally I saw the one thing I had wanted to do for weeks since I started this starvation process, the scale. There was a new nurse which took us back to the room. Then out to the scale, yes!!!!! I was down 18 pounds since my original visit. This would be my prediet weight, 329 pounds. Yup I put the actually weight down in writing, which boy is really hard for me to do. I have to do this as a definite this is where you are and each time I can see how far I have come.

They will not give me a definite weight loss goal, except for a healthy weight. That is okay. That is why I am doing this. Will I be model weight or even 150 pounds? I don't think so, but I think I will be healthy. I think I will not have to walk in a restuarant and see a chair that I can't sit in and have to find another, or wait an extra 20 minutes for a table because booths are just to iffy. I think I will be able to buy clothes in my own community and not have to drive to a specialty store. (although I am going to look pretty weird for awhile, I have no small clothes in my closet because I had figured I would never get thinner.)

Stef went over the statistics. Dr. Coster has been doing this surgery for 18 years. His training was done by a doctor who was originally trained by the doctor that invented the RNY gastric bypass. He has had 3 deaths that have been reported due with this surgery due to the fact that these people died within 90 days of the surgery. One was a woman who flew 2 months out from surgery developed a blood clot, local doctor treated her for cellulitis; a gentleman who had a heart attack 90 days after the surgery, and a woman who was 780 pounds and was at the University of Iowa given only 2 weeks to live. Her family thought this might be a last saving effort. She died 2 weeks out from surgery. He has a 2% leak ratio, which is extremely below the national average. I knew most of this going into the first appointment as I had been trying to figure out where I wanted to go. The other thing that really brought me to this man is that he has a very strong faith. He actually had a degree in theology and was thinking of ministry but felt his calling to be surgery.

Any way signed my consent, paid the remainder of my out-of-pocket to them, and we came home. Joyce is an angel, she listens to me rattle on, I am sure she must be bored out of her mind.

So today I go see Lark, then the count down, and waiting. I have enough to do that the time will fly by.

Oh yes the MIL issue....I am not getting involved....I feel bad....but I need to be calm and relaxed before my surgery....this time I am using self preservation and thinking of me.

Tired, so very very tired.

I don't think my body likes this diet it is on. I am so tired and scattered brained. I took an hour nap at lunch time to see if that helped and all it did was make me want to lie down more. Pablo is the best nap buddy because he just lies there right beside me snoring away. I have been wearing that stupid mask and it does not seem to be a huge help either.

One night this week, dread of dreads, we have to get the tape measure out. I am suppose to take body measurements of legs, arms, waist, wrists, hips, chest, and neck. They say the reasoning behind this is because you will have periods of time that you will not be losing weight like you think you should, but you will be losing inches and remodeling your body. The reality will hit in that I am not a 36, 24, 36 hour glass figure. Betty Boop I ain't. Sad part is that I can tell that I have lost weight in the chest.... I will have no chest after I have lost the weight. The only before surgery picture will be the one of my brother and I. I think I will do monthly photos after surgery just to see the weight loss.

On a positive note, I have not had heartburn since those gosh awful antibiotics and since the diet has changed. I enjoy drinking a seltzer with a twist of lemon and lime when out with friends. I have not had any swelling in my feet or ankles either. I will be very curious to see just how much I am down from the beginning.

Samples, good grief, I have samples of Whey Protein in every flavor (including chicken soup YUK) coming to me in the mail. I figured they are free and this stuff ain't cheap. Some I have tried gag me, some have been very good. I am hoping to get some premixed stuff to try to see if I like that or not.

Jeff is having a hard time wrapping his head around this. He is scared and I know that, and I think he will do better after the surgery is over, but right now he is just not quite getting the diet routine.

Tomorrow is my preoperative lab testing, chest x-ray and EKG. I have an appointment with the therapist (lil Hitler) to get some indoor exercises to help me work out so my poor knees aren't always so sore. Then I will end the day with seeing Stef and Dr Coster signing my consent.

Wednesday morning I will be going over to my regular doctor for a heart and lung check. I love Lark. She is a great nurse practitioner. She will help me however she can.

Then it will be just finishing off the rest of the week and getting ready for MOnday's drive to Grinnell and surgery on Tuesday.

My son thinks I have lost it.

Today was an emotional rollar coaster day. I think it is nerves and food depravation. My son thinks I have just lost it. We talked in the morning and I was all chipper. Then we visited a while in the afternoon and I was weepy. How dumb can that be? I felt so bad, but I did a lot of that crying all day today. They told us that would not be uncommon.

I am doing a me day tomorrow, heading up to the cities, spending some time with Michelle, my friend. Seeing her new home. Just being girls together.

Oh interesting news. I ran into a friend today that I had not seen in 11 months. She is thin, really thin, looking awesome. We visited and I told her how great she looks. She had the surgery. She is going to be my exercise buddy when I get back from surgery. I am excited for this. We are going to be doing water aerobics 5:15 pm at night. Therabands and water aerobics, Lord I am going to be fit. It sounds good fit.

The Journey begins

Losing myself, wow, I will be doing that losing a person that I have known for so many years on the ouside, I think the inner me is pretty much going to be the same. I might have a little confidence in going places and meeting new people, but otherwise I like me on the inside, just not on the outside.

Now the kayaking comes from being something I have wanted to do forever since we went to the Apostle Islands in Bayfield Wisconsin. I want to kayake on Lake Superior to the island caves. I probably will need to have lessons before going out on that huge lake. Kayaking is a goal, an activity I will enjoy when I have lost myself.

I have been thinking about weight loss in some shape or form since I was in my teen years. At that time I weighed a healthy 135 pounds. This is my journel spot for my weight loss journey began in June with a trip down to Grinnell, Iowa, to meet my surgeon and my team, the people in my corner to help me get healthy. Of course I am blessed with wonderful friends who have been there for me through all of this and will be, they are just those kind of friends. (Joyce, Kari, Lori, and Michelle, thanks ladies you are beyond wonderful). Since that time I have been working at getting healthy for my surgery that is on September 30, 2008.

So the journey begins and I am excited, scared, nervous, bitchy, and weepy. Read along with me. Some days will be up and some days down, I expect that, so will be my entries in this journal.